Limited Editions

The life of a first born is difficult. We parents have NO idea what we are doing when we bring baby #1 home, but somehow, we figure it out.   Along comes baby #2, and we begin to see that maybe baby #1 had it easier than they thought.   See, we really don't have much to compare baby #1 to.   Sure, we can easily compare baby #1 to the children of other family members or friends, but we often don't do that continuously.   However, when baby #2 comes along, boy is it difficult to not start comparing.

Now, in defense of every Father and Mother out there, we don't mean to do this comparison business. Mainly, we start doing it because the only reference we have to babies is baby #1.  We start out by making those innocent little comments to ourselves or our sweethearts:

"Oh, look.   She sleeps in the same position as Little Susie."
"Wow!  He ate more than Junior did at this age."
"It took Bubba 6 months to sleep through the night, but little Baby did it in 3!!"

Nothing too drastic, but isn't that the way a lot of things start.....small, and then the snowball starts rolling?  Before we know it, it becomes a habit.   Pretty soon, baby #2 is constantly compared to the older sibling, and poor baby #3 or #4.....the comparison pool just increases.

What does GOD's Word tell us to do instead?   Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."  Years ago I read a wonderful book by Florence Littauer, and in it, she points out that possibly a better translation of that verse would be "Train up a child in their bent."   Train them up the way GOD created them - according to their individual personalities.   That doesn't mean we can't have the same rules for all of our children, but let's face it, if you have more than one child you know that they each respond differently to certain forms of discipline.  One child may be stronger willed than another.   One tends to be a people pleaser more than the other.   One just drives you NUTS!!  (probably because they are just like you are!!  GOD does have a sense of humor!)

Combine Proverbs 22:6 with Titus 2:4, and I think we start seeing a beautiful picture for how we should parent.   Titus 2:3-4, "Older women....so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children."  Interesting, the Greek word for loving your husband is "philandrous" while the Greek for loving your children is "philoteknous" - both have the Greek for love as "philos" and according to Strong's Greek origin the word means:

5384 phílos – a friend; someone dearly loved (prized) in a personal, intimate way; a trusted confidant, held dear in a close bond of personal affection.

WOW!!   What??  How are we to love our husband and children in the same manner?   Think of it this way.   When you fell in love with your Prince Charming what did you find yourself doing??   Didn't you study him and constantly try to dig deeper into knowing him so that you could figure out what made him tick?   What made him the way he is?   What did he like?   What did he NOT like?   What were his fears?   Dreams?  You wanted to know anything and everything that made him the man you fell in love with.  

What if we were to do that with our children?   What if we studied them?  What if we tried to find out what they liked and didn't like?  What their dreams and desires were?   What their fears were?  Who they were deep down inside?   What if we loved them dearly as a trusted confidant or in a personal and intimate way?   Would this cause us to parent differently?   If we looked at our children through the eyes of the One who created them, would we see them as something different than our child or an extension of who we were?   Would it cause us to strive to help them reach their goals and dreams rather than thinking they are to help us reach ours?

I asked myself those questions years ago, and it completely transformed how I saw my children.  I started to see them as limited editions, uniquely created with a purpose - not for me or to fulfill my plans - but with a purpose to fulfill the role that GOD had for them in HIS Kingdom.  

My children are still weird at times, and I must admit, they come by it naturally (or genetically).   That doesn't change the fact that they are still unique.   They are UNIQUELY weird, and each day that GOD gives me with them, I pray that I discover something new and wonderful about them.   A gift or trait that GOD can use to bless someone else.   A skill that I can encourage them to develop.   A talent that they can share with others if I give them the opportunity.   Mostly, though, I pray that I can see them more and more each day as  a friend; dearly loved in a personal, intimate way.

Happy Independence Day

"Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it."

   Edmund Burke

Do we know our history?   I fear that I know so little compared to what I desire to know.   I love reading history books, especially true history from the actual words of those who lived it.  Unfortunately, we tend to be spoon fed our history from revisionist publishers and writers so that the truth has become so skewed.  Then again......

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State."  (attributed to Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's Minister of Propaganda)

It's powerful, and it's humbling when we think back to what our Founding Fathers did over 200 years ago.   We owe our freedoms to men and women who risked EVERYTHING, including, and most especially, their lives.   This quote says it all:

Dr. Benjamin Rush, the father of American Medicine and a signer, recorded that day in his diary. In 1781, he wrote to John Adams “Do you recollect the pensive and awful silence which pervaded the House when we were called up, one after another, to the table of the President of Congress to subscribe to what was believed by many at that time to be our death warrants? The silence and gloom of the morning was interrupted, I well recollect, only for a moment by Colonel Harrison of Virginia (a big guy) who said to Mr. Gerry (small in stature) at the table: 'I shall have a great advantage over you, Mr. Gerry, when we are all hung for what we are now doing... From the size and weight of my body I shall die in a few minutes, but from the lightness of your body you will dance in the air an hour or two before you are dead.' This speech procured a transient smile, but it was soon succeeded by the solemnity with which the whole business was conducted.”

How many of us today would willingly sign a document like that, knowing what the cost would be, not only to ourselves, but to our entire family. These men and their families sacrificed much for us. It would seem to me that the least we could do is know just a little of what they did and why. 
 

Let us take some time this Independence Day to know what really occurred and why.   Possibly this article would be a good source of information.   Read some books by TRUE historians, or better yet, grab some books by Peter Marshall that are compilations of the written words of those men and women who lived and risked so much.  

Let's celebrate this year with a deeper understanding of the roots of our country, of the families who first came here and why.  Let's research to know what was intended when the original documents were written (ie., The Declaration of Independence, The American Constitution, The Bill of Rights, etc.)

Or, we can just continue down the path that has given us this.....We have a choice.  

Is there anything better??

One of the best things about home schooling my children is being with them 24/7.  It gives you so many opportunities to work on your relationships, disciple them in The Lord, and hear them say the funniest things.   

Take for example, the time that one dear daughter came crying to me because she hurt her foot.   As I looked for signs of injury, I could find none so inquired as to where it hurt......"The one that had roast beef."   Well, then, let's give that roast beef eating toe a kiss and see if the pain goes away (so that I can go call Dad and tell him that funny story). 

Or how about the time I went to answer the door during lunch, and came back to inform my sweet children that there was a back bone on the front yard (remember, we do live on a cattle ranch with dogs that think dragging bones and other items on to the yard is their sworn duty).   My little guy hopped up from his seat, and with complete shock and sincerity proclaimed, "Well, it isn't MINE!!"

Children are a blessing, and they bring so much joy and entertainment.   They also bring their own level of frustrations and struggles, and I often found it easier to focus on the trouble and work that they can be instead of seeing the beauty of what they have to offer.   True, there is something so frustrating about cleaning, cleaning, cleaning all day to discover that your dear child just walked through and dumped a muddy rock on the nicely polished furniture, and as you are in the most dramatic display of your frustrations, you hear your sweet child tell you, "But, Mommy, I'm pretty sure it's a dinosaur fossil."   What are you supposed to say then??  Is mud really that bad when fossil hunting?   I think not, but that's easy to say when years have passed.

I remember the first time I fixed the COMPLETE (and yes, I do mean COMPLETE) Thanksgiving meal for both sets of parents.   I had slaved worked diligently for days and days preparing pies, homemade rolls, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, dressing, turkey, ham, side dishes, veggie trays.....you name it, we had it, or at least pretty close to it.   Our table was laden with all these wonderful creations.   I was exhausted from the work, and around my wonderful decorated table sat the people I  wanted to impress with my culinary skills loved.  My husband praised GOD for HIS bounty, and as soon as all eyes came up, my dear 3 year old son asked, "Mommy, can I have a peanut butter roll up?"   (Please note that the above mentioned child is still in our family due to the speed of my husband's response and ability to remove him from the dangerous situation that comment created.....and no, he did NOT get a peanut butter roll up).

Then, what about all the time I spent sewing up beautiful, frilly dresses for my girls.   Of course, those types of gifts can't be created while the child is awake, so I would stay up until the wee hours of the night sewing, fluffing, ironing, accessorizing, all for my precious, sweet daughters.   Then, the first Sunday after Christmas, what do they want to wear to church (and their daddy allowed)??   Their dress up clothes - bright yellow material with red, blue, and green stripes, zig zags, and circles, along with a blue laced shirt quickly stitched together as an after thought, and to complete the outfit, bright red stockings with pink shoes!   It doesn't get any snazzier than that, and I'm pretty sure it would have been outlawed in most states.   I happened to be playing the piano for church that Sunday, so we went in two separate vehicles that day as Dad brought the darlings to the second service.   I can still remember playing away that day, turning my head as the door opened, and in walked my two precious princesses in their get ups.......how I ever kept playing without missing a beat is beyond me.   The best part of that story, though, is that we remember it and laugh and laugh and laugh.   Somewhere, I'm sure I have a picture buried away that will rise to the top of the list of pictures to show their own precious daughters one day.

OK.  OK.   Those are the challenging moments of parenting.  The moments where you wonder why you do all the things that you do.   The effort into fixing a meal or creating designer clothing, all to have it tossed aside for something......well.....just tossed aside without one single thought or care about how it might come across to you, the Momma.   That's when I would be reminded of that beautiful verse, Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men."  

GOD cared about that meal that was prepared, even if my motives might have been a little prideful, HE still took note of the blessing it did bring our family.   GOD noticed each detail and stitch that was made in those dresses, and HE was probably the only one that knew how much love was poured into each item.   I am so grateful for that verse as it spurred me on more than once to do all the things I did for my family, because I was ultimately doing them for HIM.   HE noticed when they might not have.   HE saw all the details and efforts that went on behind the scenes to keep our home running somewhat smoothly.  HE was awake with me while I rocked them through an illness or time of teething.   I did it for HIM, and in so doing, it poured out on those precious gifts as well.  

Psalm 127:3a says, "Behold, children are a GIFT of the LORD."  Yes, they are, and this picture pretty much sums up my feelings for my four gifts.   

Need some strength and courage right now......

I saw this beautiful quote recently......

I could not have said it better.   I need the strength and courage and sense of humor to survive without my dear daughters right now.   I am surrounded by men!!!   Now, don't get me wrong, I love the men in my life......but I've been blessed to be able to counter that testosterone with the dear daughters GOD blessed me with in my family.   However, since they chose to abandon me to spend two weeks helping another friend in California, I've felt quite alone.....

So what have I learned?   I've learned I don't need the table so big......but the quantity of food required seems to remain the same (amazing how those boys will eat until it's gone, regardless of how much is fixed!)

I've learned that all activities require sound effects.   I've known this from day one, but I don't think I've noticed how MUCH sound effect was required to watch a "guy" movie.

I've learned that they take forever to complete a cooking task.   We laugh that our guys are so focused on only one thing at a time, and I miss the multi-tasking capabilities of my dear daughters in the kitchen.   Two times my guys have fixed the meal completely without my help (pretty good for only having the girls gone for 4 days!!), but.......I have been nearly starved by the time it was finished.   I realize I must teach them complete casseroles if they will ever be of any help to their wives one day, and if not, I will pray that their wives appreciate their heartfelt desire rather than the quickness of the meal.

I've learned that boys can talk just as much as girls if given the right topic.   We've enjoyed some wonderful conversations without sisters here.  Not sure why, but I suspect I'm too comfortable with the topics the girls and I love and can jump right into discussing.   I know it takes sooooo much longer with my sons, but I don't think I've taken the time necessary the past few years.   Let me explain.   If I am going on a four hour trip with either daughter, I can guarantee we will jumped into our first conversation before we even hit the pavement.   Not so with my boys.   I went on a four hour trip with one son not too long ago.   It took 2 hours and 45 minutes before we were finally able to get into a deep conversation.   It was fabulous, thought provoking, insightful, heartfelt, tender, loving, just wonderful!!!........but it took 2 hours and 45 minutes to start and ended in about 25 minutes.   Then, we moved on to knives.   I needed this reminder that it just takes more time for these deep conversations with my boys.

I've learned that I'm treasured.   I have had three men opening doors, helping me lift things, killing snakes, hugging me, and I'm loving every minute of it.   I know they do this on a regular basis, but I think it's been spread out over three women, so I haven't had it in this kind of abundance.........and I like it!!

I've learned that when my daughters do leave home, I will survive.   I've always joked about how awful it will be when I'm the only female in the house, but I see things a bit differently now.   I am already learning that it will be a blessing to be the only female in the house.   I needed to see my sons for the men they've become and the treasures they are to me, not just to their dad.   They are wonderful help for him, but I am beginning to see them much differently as I have them, and only them, around the house.   I am going to do just fine when my girls leave.

I've learned that I really don't have two sons.   Instead, I'm seeing that I have two more wonderful friends, and I like it very much!!

The Men in our Lives

I am going to post this comment I wrote on another blog page not to brag (although John is worth bragging about), but I want to post this as a reminder to myself.   See, after nearly 27 years of marriage, I still sometimes have to remind myself "John is not your enemy".

Now, some may think 'how awful that she feels that way', and they are right - how sad.   I don't always feel this way, though, just when I am in the middle of a tantrum because I am not 'feeling loved' or didn't get my way and to submit on something.   Thankfully, these moments are far and few in between, but I have noticed, though, that as rare as these moments are, they seem to balloon and get magnified in my heart as I stew over the situation.  

OK.   I suppose some of you who know me well, will be laughing knowing how "dramatic" I can be at times, so this is no surprise that I might make a 'mountain out of a mole hill', but the fact that I still do it after all these years breaks my heart.   Instead, though, starting today, I'm going to rejoice that this is one more area of sin in my life that GOD has opened my eyes to in such a way that I'm finally seeing what HE's had to look at for years - the problem is me, not John.

Sure, John blows it.   Then again.......I blow it more than I care to admit, too.   We are just not perfect.   WHAT???   Shock!   Surprise!   Whatever.....    No, we're not perfect, so why in the world have I clung to this idea that we should have a perfect marriage.   In fact, what exactly does a perfect marriage even look like??   If someone knows, then please comment and enlighten me.   Instead, as I wrote these words of praise about John, it dawned on me that I will probably never have a perfect marriage, but I can have a perfectly wonderful life with the man I love because of who he is deep down - absolutely perfectly wonderfully imperfect!!   It's up to me to see what I have, appreciate it EACH moment of each day, and learn to keep growing TOWARD the perfect marriage.

Here's my comemnt, and please feel free to remind me of my words if you ever hear me say otherwise....

"Brag?   I would rather call this "Moments we give Words of Affirmation" about the men in our lives.   I am blessed to have a husband who is not perfect.   He does little things that I've asked him over and over not to do (you know, toothpaste lid off kind of things...).   He doesn't always read his Bible first thing in the morning.   He sometimes comes in from taking care of calves ravenously hungry and dives right in to the meal WITHOUT blessing it first.   He is an absolutely perfect example of imperfection, and I love him not in spite of his imperfections but because of them.  

See, his imperfections are a beautiful reminder that I'm imperfect, too, although he will rarely mention any of my imperfections.   Instead, he will sit at the table and smile when he's realized he didn't pray and tell our children, "Your mother is just such a great cook, I couldn't wait to eat what she made for us."  AND he will definitely make sure that every child takes a bite of that said meal as an act of appreciation "for the work my wife did for us."   Even in his imperfections, he will never allow our children to treat me in a disrespectful or unloving manner.   He also tells our sons (12 & 17) to "study your mother and marry someone like her."   

This imperfect man was not a Believer when we married, but as he has come to know, love and serve GOD, he has become the most perfect husband for me.   A man who not only loves GOD but tries every day to make sure that his children learn to love HIM, too, because he knows that the only thing he can take to heaven with him, are the people he loves.

Finally, as I look at this husband God has given me, I appreciate that our children aren't seeing a marriage of perfect people, but a perfectly wonderful marriage created from two perfectly awful sinners who love GOD.

This Blog Has Been Hacked in Order to....

Tell all of our mother's faithful followers that it is her birthday today!!! We won't say how old (wink), but we can say that we have had so, so, so, so, so many years together as a family, with dear mother sitting shotgun in the car of life....

Ok, as poetry really isn't my thing, I guess I'll just go with plain language. :-)


Dear Mom,

Happiest of birthdays to you!! You are such a wonderful mother to all of us. You have let me grow up from your little girl, to your friend. You love having conversations with me, and love listening to what I have to say. You appreciate my opinion and view me as your fellow Sister in Christ. You have encouraging words for any situation, you always know what you do. Your hug can melt away all fears, and when you laugh it fills the house with joy.
   You have been a wonderful example of a Godly marriage with Daddy. You have shown me how to be a good wife and help-meet. You have such a heart to serve and to love. You are an amazing person. Your laugh, your jokes, you thoughts, your wisdom, your determination, your everything!
     I love you SOOOOOOOOO much!!!!! Happy birthday!!!

Love,
Sarah

Valentine's Giveaway

I haven't posted anything in a very, verry, verrrry, verrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy long time, so I thought I'd ease back into things by sharing a give away at a friend's blog.   Hop along here and enter away.   I'm going to go take a nap because now I'm exhausted after my first day blogging again......

A funny to start the week...

I couldn't resist this one, either.   I feel like this in so many areas of my life, but I've just learned to laugh off the situations (most of the time) or else I would be constantly discouraged.....

What is your "kill me moment"?

Is there any other Momma out there that's done this??

I saw this and immediately knew it was made for/about me.   My children saw it and laughed.   Some even said...."THAT'S YOU, MOM!!"     I'll let the cartoon speak for itself.....

So, be honest.....has any other Momma done this??   I know some of you have, so 'fess up!!!

Happy Mother's Day

Another beautiful Mother's Day.   I know, I know.   I say I don't really like Mother's Day because I don't want my family to FEEL like they have to do something today because that's what someone decided would be the official Mother's Day on the calendar.   However, I must say that my family really does make me feel blessed all the time, so I do know that these special things they have done come from their hearts and not a sense of obligation to the "powers that be".   Here is a glimpse of my day.....

I started my day with a cup of coffee fixed just the way I like it.   While I enjoyed "bumming around this morning", I heard lots of noises from the kitchen which resulted in a beautifully prepared brunch - full menu of eggs, bacon, heavenly sweet rolls, lots of fruit, whipped cream all served on china and lots and lots of hot tea!!   We enjoyed a wonderful time of eating, laughing, and visiting as my dear family also invited my mom and my aunt to join us.  Then, I was informed that we were heading into town to go bowling and eat at Rudy's later.   What a day of pure pleasure with those I love the most.  

As I sat here feeling "guilty" as my dear children cleaned up the kitchen I had to think back through the years.  Who would have known that all those years of sleepless nights, hugs and kisses for booboos and hurts, hours of discipline in one form or fashion, and large listening ears- sometimes up into the wee hours of the night listening to hearts being poured out - yes, all those years of just doing what I love doing and feel blessed to be able to do them would result in this kind of treatment.   

I know so many young Mommas who are still in the exhaustion stage, so I decided to write this post in hopes of encouraging them that their day will come.   It may seem so very far away, but it is out there and sadly, it's out there on the horizon, believe it or not.   Trust me, when it does come, you will look back and think that all of the things you did really didn't deserve all the devotion, love, respect, and adoration that you will receive one day.   GOD is so gracious, though, in blessing us a little here and there and then really rewarding us with something more wonderful than we thought possible when we release HIS arrows.   

 

My prayer for you young Mommas right now is that HE would bless you with an abundance of patience mixed with tons of compassion and mercy; wisdom and discernment to know whether to disciple with the rod, the Sword of the Spirit, or the loving arms GOD gave you; the energy to stay one step ahead of them in ALL their actions or the energy to catch up with them and pull or shove them back on track when necessary; the appreciation to know that this time is fleeting and will be over before you know it; but mostly, the moments you have to influence them are so few in the scheme of things, so I pray that you seize every moment to point them to GOD so that you may one day enjoy eternity together.  

As a reminder of the power of influence that we have, not only on our family, but the influence we may one day have on the world is found here.

Enjoy not only the rest of this day, but every precious day you have been given with the blessings GOD has given you!!

Still hanging in there.....

I know I've been silent, which is a surprise to many who know me well......but here is the best way to describe life the last couple of months....back to cleaning for now.....

I do have some posts I've been working on for the future.....so come back and visit again.....

Enjoying the seasons

As my children keep insisting on having birthdays, I have noticed a few things about my feelings as a mother.   It's been so wonderful to see them stretch and grow and pull away a little more from under my wings, and I love having these adult children to visit with and discuss things such as movies and great books we're reading or a passage of Scripture that someone found intriguing.   At the same time, though, my heart aches as I write this because I just never knew that this role GOD gave me was going to fill me so much only to take away those moments little by little as these precious gifts grow up and out.  


It's all a season, I know, but it seems like it's been a shorter season than I originally thought.   I read a friend's blog recently, and as she commented on the daily things she encounters, I was taken back to those same moments - endless piles of diapers, baskets full of baby clothes to be folded and put away, toys scattered here and there, and then the occasional Lego or doll shoe left to trap me in my nightly rendezvous with the nursing baby.  How I thought those days would last forever, and here I am wishing I could just enjoy them one more time.  


Then, I find myself turning to the season I'm in and finding that it was so much better than I dreamed it would be.   Who knew how much pleasure I'd find in hearing my adult children talking about their dreams and plans for the future.   Who knew how much my heart would ache as they share their disappointments and struggles.  Then, once again, relishing in the moment as we laugh and cry and grumble over this character and that plot in whatever book or movie we happen to be enjoying together.  


I wish there was a verse that said, "And the Momma while rise up and call her children blessed because they have brought much joy into her life", but how can you really put into words what I feel right now.....you can't, and that's why HE chose not to, either.   HE is wise enough to know that you need to just wrap your arms around these feelings and treasure them forever!!


When GOD called Peter and John to go out and take on the mission HE gave them, I don't think they realized what joy they would experience as they followed the path   HE laid out for them.   By the same token, I just had no idea the joy I would store up as I answered the call to take on the mission of raising these four arrows HE placed in my care for this short season.   I praise GOD for HIS calling and have never regretted all the earthly things I gave up in order to step UP to this role, and I rejoice each time I read a blog post or hear a young Momma share that she, too, is loving her mission that HE has given her.   

7 Random Things About Myself

In an attempt to get me to post more often, my evil, devious, pesky adorable, sweet, angelic daughter (I had to type this because she's sitting right beside me......) has "tagged" me in a post.   I am to type 7 Random things about myself....to quote Miss Woodhouse in Emma  "Yes, but your problem will be in limiting yourself to only three...(or 7, in my case)"   I will give it a try, and in the hopes of pleasing my dear daughters, I will sincerely strive to post more often....

1)  I type.   Yes, I type ALL the time.   Not just when I'm at the computer, but if I'm sitting listening to a conversation, I find myself "typing out" what is being said.   I do the same thing when I'm watching a movie or even when we're praying.   I know this because my children have often told me after prayer time, "Uhhh, Mom, my hand (or back or arm) is not a keyboard."  

2)  I love butter!!!  I love butter on anything I can think of.  I surprised my own children the other night by suggesting we eat some hot, fresh out of the oven, chocolate cake with butter melted on it!

3)  I am the middle child of three, but I am sadly, the shortest one.   This has always been a sore point with me because when I was a child and my older sister would pick on me, my parents assured me that one day I'd be bigger and could defend myself.....I'm still waiting for that day....

4)  Most people who know me know that I am afraid of snakes....DEATHLY afraid of snakes....    DEATHLY, and I do mean DEATHLY afraid of snakes.   This has been a source of constant entertainment for my family, too.   Not that they ever - EVER- have used this fear against me and scared me with snakes.   To the contrary, they go out of their way to protect me from snakes, snake pictures, snake parts in movies, or anything having to do with snakes.   When they were younger, they even braved the Reptile Hall at the zoo alone because they knew that Momma was not going to go with them.   The source of entertainment is laughing about everything they've done to make sure that I don't come across a snake, and believe me, there are numerous such stories floating around our home.

5)  I love to dance.   I don't always dance at gatherings such as Square dancing and Contra dancing, but I love to dance.   My favorite time is......well, anytime.   If a song has a great beat, I just can't help myself.   I feel my foot start tapping, then my leg goes, and before you know it, I'm just moving around wherever I am.   This might be the kitchen, the living room, the hallway, and yes, even the aisles of Wal-mart (my children abandoned me that trip, so due to peer pressure, I've never done it since!)

6)  I always envisioned myself on Broadway when I was younger.   I wanted to be a great actress and perform on Broadway and live in New York City.   I laugh at that now because I just can't imagine living anywhere except in the country.   It's amazing what GOD can do in our lives when we submit to HIM.

7)  I love to read books and watch movies with different dialects.   Unfortunately, I find myself mimicking those dialects and accents quite easily ( not well, but easily).   So much so, that I did order burgers and fries at a McDonalds once in a cockney English accent as we were listening to a book on tape one trip.   I don't think they knew me, so I didn't sweat it, but ever since, my children will preface their orders with "Please don't order in an accent...."

I'd love to hear a few random things about you, so feel free to leave a comment or two.

Why I'm glad I didn't kill my children.....

I have been blessed to have the opportunity to follow a young Mom's blog, and when I read her posts, I just laugh (with her....not AT her). I can so clearly remember those days of 4 little ones, no sleep, the need for coffee to survive, and the nagging question that would pop up into my head from time to time when I was ready to pull my hair out.."Why am I doing this??"

I'd like to say that I never killed my children because I knew it was the moral thing to do, but alas, I think I was just too exhausted to go through with it. I was a young Christian at the time, and I had no idea there was more to parenting than feeding them, clothing them, cleaning up after them, putting them to bed, and then figuring out a strategy to survive another day like the last. I also thought my goal in life was to get them educated enough so that they could leave home at 18 and be successful (whatever that meant.....). So, that's what I did...most days.

Thankfully, GOD placed some wonderful books, mentors, speakers, and conferences in my life so that I eventually saw a different vision for what it meant to be a parent. A vision where you strive to raise these gifts to love GOD completely - because they saw that YOU loved GOD completely. A vision where they knew how to have meaningful and deep, heart conversations with others because they had already been having those conversations with their parents. A vision where they would be trained and educated to leave my home to go out and successfully accomplish whatever GOD laid on their hearts to do. A vision where we would be friends for life and not just "family" on those major holidays. In fact, I listened to that young Momma I mentioned earlier as she spoke to a group of homeschool Moms one evening. The talk was given by her and her own mom on how to "Hold on to your child's heart strings". That idea of keeping that bond between my heart and my children's hearts was never something I had thought or heard about, and as I knew this family, I realized I wanted what they had with their young adult children.

This weekend, I'm especially thankful for that new vision because I'm reaping the benefits. My guys are off hunting for the weekend. My dear daughters and I are enjoying our Annual Ladies Only Hunt Weekend. No, we don't go hunting, but we do kill off lots of ice cream, coffee, junk food, chick flicks, and sewing projects. We laugh, cry, tease, listen, share, and enjoy our time together. We look forward to this weekend for months, and we savor every moment we have with just the gals (we even stay up much later than this old body seems to like!). It's a weekend that reminds me that I'm glad I didn't kill my children but killed those warped ideas I had about my role as a parent.

One movie we watched was Fools Rush In. I smiled as the couple was heading over to her family's home for their weekly family meal. There were aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, grandchildren - ALL the family. The young man was shocked as he saw everyone because his family might get together briefly for Christmas, and she was shocked because it looked like there were a lot missing!! I smiled inside as I could see our family doing something like that. The bond that family had was developed over years and years just as the lack of the family bond doesn't happen over night either. As I watched with my girls, I kept looking at them and remembering where my heart had been 15 years before. It was following the path of the world not the path that GOD laid out for us. 3 John 1:4 says, "I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth." That is so very true, but even better is to be walking in the truth TOGETHER!!

If I had killed my children, I might be ready for parole in a few years. Instead, GOD saved me from that wretchedness and gave me a life sentence of joy and friendship that will go into eternity.

That's OK......or is it??

I was watching a young Momma with her little one (about 3 years). The child did something wrong, Mom corrected him, and when the child said "I'm sorry", Momma said, "That's OK." What?? Why was it not OK before, but now it's OK??

I do know that the Mom was trying to tell the child "All is forgiven, and we'll not bring it up anymore." My question is.....why don't we say, "All is forgiven, and we'll not bring it up anymore."???

When I was a young Momma, I did the same thing. When my little ones wronged someone (usually their other sibling), I tackled that situation with an iron fist. 1) Here's what you did wrong. 2) Now you need to apologize 3) Remind the offended individual know they are supposed to say "That's OK" 4) Pat myself on the back for another job well done in the parenting arena!! I know it was a sight to behold watching me in action....

Thankfully, GOD sent someone to straighten me out.

First, while it is good to point out what my little ones did wrong, my reason for doing so was to remind them they served a Holy GOD who had standards. If the incident was against HIS standard, I wanted them to know that, so I started "discipling" them (imagine that concept). If it was an incident that went against our family standards, then I wanted them to know that as well. I didn't want them to become adults thinking that something was sin because our family said so. I wanted them to know that sin was sin because GOD said so, but at the same time, I also wanted them to understand that some things we do because that's what we like - not because GOD said so. (You know, no burping at the table unless it's BBB night)

Second, I did not want them to apologize. Webster says this about apology:

"An excuse: something said or written in defense or extenuation of what
appears to others wrong, or unjustifiable;"

Ummm, maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't think there are too many cases where you can make an excuse for hitting your sister because she took your toy away. Seriously, though, I do know I'm splitting hairs here, but it did get me thinking about what I was doing. Was I really teaching them GOD's way or man's way when I told them to apologize for something they did wrong? Did I want them to learn to justify their bad choices, or did I want them to understand what THEY did wrong and how to make amends. For me, it was as simple as teaching them to ask for forgiveness.

The Psalmist teaches us in Psalm 79:9, "Help us, O GOD of our salvation, for the glory of Thy name; and deliver us, and forgive our sins, for Thy name's sake."

He doesn't apologize and try to justify to a Holy GOD why they did what they did. No, he asks for GOD's forgiveness. I realized that's what I needed to do and what I wanted my children to do as well.

Third, I had to ask myself why I wanted the offender to apologize for something when I've taught the offended to say, "That's OK." NO!! If it was OK to begin with, then why in the world did Momma just say to not do that?? OK. So, I'm a redneck at heart and a little slow....but I eventually catch on.....

If the offense was wrong by GOD's standard....and the offender needed to seek forgiveness.....then it only stands to reason that the offended needs to forgive. I get it!! I didn't want them to learn to just walk away from the situation, but I wanted them to know that when we wrong someone, they can actually still love us, forgive us, and desire to be in a relationship with us. I wanted them to learn that lesson with each other because that's what their faith would be built on. I knew that my dear children would offend GOD during their lives, but that HE will always be standing there with open arms waiting to forgive them, to love them, and to be in a relationship with them - no matter what. Jeremiah 9:17, "...But THOU art a GOD of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in loving-kindness; and THOU didst not forsake them."

Is it splitting hairs? I don't think so. I think there is a huge difference in apologizing and asking forgiveness. There are even times when you need to do both. "Honey, I'm sorry I was late. There was an accident on the freeway and traffic was stopped. Please forgive me for not being here when I said I would." Will that make a difference? You bet. How much nicer it is to have someone acknowledge that they've offended you. Then, how much nicer for the offender to hear, "I forgive you" instead of "That's OK" The offender knows it's not OK. So do you. If that's what we know as grownups, then why don't we start that lesson when they're little??

Take this to the next level.....how do we feel when we know we've offended GOD? Do we really feel better when we pour our heart out and 'apologize' to GOD and let HIM know WHY we did something - as if an omniscient GOD didn't already know. Or do we feel a relief and overwhelming outpouring of love when we repent and seek forgiveness knowing that GOD already promised to forgive us in 1 John 1:9. If that's how we feel, then let's help our children learn that feeling, too, because it's NOT OK......

History Repeats Itself

We have often heard, "those who forget history, are destined to repeat it".  Watch this video and ask yourself if you are ready to watch history repeat itself......

(age appropriate 14+)

Constructive criticism or just plain ridicule

*disclaimer-this post is not meant as a response to anyone or anything-it just came to me after reading the quote below*

This quote came through one of the emails I receive in the morning, and it made me think about Hebrews 12.

Radical leftist Saul Alinksy said the following:

"Ridicule is man's most potent weapon. It is almost impossible to counteract ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage."

We studied Hebrews 12 this Sunday, and we all discussed how much GOD's discipline displays HIS unconditional love for us in that HE disciplines us for our spiritual growth and not as seems best for HIM as do earthly fathers (paraphrasing verses 5-11).  We further discussed how most of us don't enjoy any discipline or admonishment or even "constructive criticism" when it's administered to us.   How painfully true that can be for so many of us.

Then, I read this quote.   WOW!!   How often do we use ridicule and call it "criticism"?

According to Webster, criticize means::

: to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly 

: to find fault with  

: point out the faults of 

It looks to me that criticism and ridicule are pretty close together in definition, but they are worlds apart in application.   Criticism is something that should be used in light of Hebrews 12 - to better the person in some sense (ie, spiritually).   In my opinion, it really should be accompanied by specific examples, possibly gentle suggestions (you need to know the person on this one), lots of love and prayer, and absolutely NO name calling.   Ridicule, on the other hand, doesn't seem to require any of the above and especially loves name calling.   

I heard a speaker say once that we ridicule others in order to bring them down and elevate ourselves.   I have always thought that was a perfect definition of ridicule.   It's right there with Webster's definition of "to make fun of others".   

I so appreciated thinking about how GOD loves me enough to correct me for my spiritual growth.   I would love to tell everyone that I did that as a mother, but I have to be honest and admit that I often "disciplined" my children so that I would look good in the eyes of others.   GOD doesn't need us to make HIM look good (and I'm grateful for that!!).   The beautiful thing is that HE does discipline us in a constructive criticism sort of way.   He does so with love, examples (we can see so many in HIS WORD), suggestions (again, I refer to HIS WORD), and I don't think HE's ever called me a name.   Even better, HE is willing to do this over and over and over until I get it right.   I don't think those that ridicule us are really willing to invest that much time in us.   

I am encouraged to choose my thoughts and words carefully as I speak with others that I feel may be in the wrong.   What are my intentions?   Am I focused on what I want or improving the other person in some way.   Am I choosing words that make fun of the person?  Or are my words ones that will edify in the long run.  Have I spent time with GOD before spending time with this person?  Is there love being expressed?  Am I ridiculing ...........or truly criticizing?

I think that Rebecca posted a beautiful poem on words, and I think it applies especially to these areas.   

For once, thank you, Mr. Alinsky, for saying something I could agree with.

Happy Birthday Sarah!!

At her 18th birthday tea.

Yes.   I am late.   But in all fairness to myself, I don't WANT to post this birthday wish.   Why?   I am just not ready to have Sarah turn 18.   It's that simple.   When did I give her permission to grow into this lovely, young woman that graces my home with her smile, her laughter, and her creativity?   When did I say it was OK to mature and learn to serve GOD by serving others around her?   When did I give her the go ahead to defend her faith with love and compassion with those around her?   When did I say that my sweet little girl could be anything but that sweet little girl??   If I did, then I'm getting awfully forgetful......

I don't suppose it matters if I ever did give her permission because she has done it anyway.

If it must happen, let me at least rejoice in all the blessings that I see in this event.   18!   18!!  18!!!  How in the world did that ever happen??   It seems only yesterday that you were placed in my arms with that "stick-ed up hair" of black.   Oh, how I remember you choosing your own attire as soon as you possibly could only to sneak off and change into something else.   Then, listening to you give "speech" lessons to your brother when you still couldn't say those words correctly.   I still smile when I think of those days.  

Your hair doesn't stick up anymore, you don't change your clothes several times a day, and you can speak loudly and enunciate beautifully, but the one thing that hasn't changed is your ability to make me smile.   From day one you chose to exert your own personality into our family and be who YOU wanted to be, and I am glad to see you still living comfortably in your skin - regardless of what others think.  

Encouraging the cast before the play.

Performing as "Aubrey Simpson - aka, The Chicken Lady"

Performing as "Cinderella - aka, The Chicken Lady"

What a treasure you are as you love people of all ages - young and old - in such a beautiful way.   

Enjoying time with friends.

Harvesting at the Schwebach's farm.

I see you growing in your love for Our LORD more and more every day, and as much as you might think I don't notice, I do see you growing in all those areas you desire to become more like Christ.   I love knowing that no matter where GOD may take you, you won't be going alone because you choose to keep HIM first in your life.   As Paul said, it is pure joy to know that my daughter is walking with The LORD.

I also love the way you desire to serve.   Your heart is willing to help friends, neighbors, grandparents, siblings, and even your dear parents.  

Serving her favorite Queen.

Always stay focused on HIM and march to the music HE places in your heart each day.   I love you so very much, and I do rejoice with you as you grow one year older - even if my selfish mother heart would desire to keep you 'wittle' a bit longer.

That smile that fills my heart.

I love you!

Momma

Turning 11!!!

Today is a wonderful day in that we are blessed to celebrate 11 years with Caleb.   What a ride it's been, and I mean that in the best way possible.

He started out on shaky ground being born 28 weeks early and weighing in at 2lb 14oz and 15 inches long......but he's more than made up for lost time.   We figure he'll outgrow all of us, and that's not some small feat (or considering the fact he wears size 11 in men's shoes, maybe I should say "small feet").

The best part of his tenacity and persistency from birth is that we are here today enjoying every bit of him.   He is happy and content 99% of the time, and if he is a little "blah", then just find some animal, place it in his lap, and you have an instant smile on that face of his.

He loves anything that moves out here - the calves, the cats, the dog, the chickens, the ducks, the rabbits, the birds, the fish, the frogs.......like I said, anything that moves.

He also loves school.   He enjoys every subject (some more than others) and especially likes sharing what he's learned.   He can entertain anyone for hours with his imagination, big expressive eyes or just sitting at the piano making up songs for your listening pleasure.   He is also great with children younger than he is.   We can't decide whether he just likes having someone to boss around or something else, but I secretly think he just likes people!!

This is school........really......

Caleb, we love you so much and are so glad that GOD has blessed us with these wonderful 11 years.   As much as I hate to see you getting older, I am enjoying every minute of it because you make it so much fun!!

Love you mostest,

Momma

Gardening is my cross to bear.....I think.....

Bizarre title, I realize, but I didn't know how else to put that....

I love vegetables.   I love fresh vegetables.   I love to grow my own vegetables so that I can eat them really fresh.   I am NOT a good gardener.  

Don't be mistaken, though, because I try to be.   Every winter I read at least one book on gardening and try to learn something that will help me in my endless quest to acquire a green thumb.   Usually, I have some success.   I mean, who can't grow zucchini, right??  I always have a zuc plant that does well, but the tomatoes, melons, etc, are a challenge.   Now, my dear husband will say that my garden does well until I find the first snake in it.   Then, it's all over for me.   (I have an extreme phobia due to a childhood incident.   I am better now, but I have been known to shove one of my own children the direction of the snake to save myself.   That's their exaggerated version, but sadly, it's probably not far from the truth.)   However, since I have children who are willing to help me and protect me from snakes, that hasn't been as much of an issue in the last few years.  

I have tried all kinds of methods - square gardening, container gardening, large, small, with plastic covering, with elaborate watering systems, with a hose, with pvc pipe.   The better question is what have I NOT tried.   I have also planted plants inside early as well as purchased seeds and plants at the store.   I'll try anything to get my garden growing.  

Now, I must share that the one plant that has eluded me since moving to this cooler, mountainous area is okra.   It doesn't like the cooler night temps but thrives in the eastern side of NM where I grew up.   This year, however, I decided I would plant inside.   That sounds good, right??   However, transplanting them has been an issue in the past.   So, I decided I would start them low in the cup and add soil around the stem as they grew in hopes of strengthening the stem.   It worked!!  Those plants were strong and beautiful when I put them in the garden.   They even endured these horrendous winds we've had until the last week or so.  

Then, hurrah upon hurrah, I went to the garden Sunday afternoon to find that I had okra pods on my plants!!   There were enough pods that within a week or so we'd be able to enjoy some fried okra, lightly coated in cornmeal, salt and pepper and fried to perfection - one of my absolute favorite foods.  Now I have to grow my own okra to get this because the pods have to be nice and firm.   I also should note this is not the battered version which you get in the store or restaurants.   No, this is sliced okra, dipped in a milk/egg batter, and lightly rolled in cornmeal/salt/pepper.   It's totally different and oh, so good.   So, you can imagine how my salivary glands kicked in.  

Then, Monday morning, I went out to check on my dear little pods to discover.......the neighbors steers had pushed through their fence, walked a mile and a half up our road, entered my garden and enjoyed a midnight snack.   They ate my okra plants, my sunflower heads (which were just starting to flower), ate some beans, ate my okra plants, stepped all over my squash plants, pulled up my watering lines, ate my okra, stretched and twisted my plastic and did I mention they ate my okra plants??  I can not tell you the emotions that ran through me.   I ended by just wanting to stand in the garden and cry.   What a blow to all our efforts.   What a disappointment after all the time and love we put in those plants.   After surviving the heat, the wind, the replanting, etc, they grow and produce only to be eaten by the neighbors steers.  My children went and found out where they escaped from, fixed the fence, and Caleb promised to get the BB gun if they ever came back, but none of it would bring back my okra plants.  

After I had time to get over my disappointment and ponder the whole situation, I couldn't help but see some life applications.   I wondered how disappointed GOD must be sometimes.   HE nurtures us, cares for us, waters us, fertilizes us, and just as we seem to be growing and signs of fruit start to appear, we allow something or someone to come in and mow us down.   We allow those truths that HE has given us to be destroyed by some well meaning friend, or worse yet, the enemy.   We don't stand strong and protect ourselves by turning to HIM.   We instead listen to the arguments given us and fall away.   We have been reading in Hebrews these last many weeks, and I have been struck by the strong admonitions the writer has given to stand firm and not fall away.   (Hebrews 6)   Just like those plants, we will face perils and attackers that seem overwhelming or unconquerable.   Unlike those plants that had no one to protect them, we have someone who will hold us in HIS righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:13-14).   We simply need to turn to HIM during those trials and difficulties.   For HE says in Jeremiah 32:27, "Behold, I am the LORD, the GOD of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?" 

Nothing is too difficult for HIM - not unbelievers, scoffers, satan, or the occasional "steer".