Now, some may think 'how awful that she feels that way', and they are right - how sad. I don't always feel this way, though, just when I am in the middle of a tantrum because I am not 'feeling loved' or didn't get my way and to submit on something. Thankfully, these moments are far and few in between, but I have noticed, though, that as rare as these moments are, they seem to balloon and get magnified in my heart as I stew over the situation.
OK. I suppose some of you who know me well, will be laughing knowing how "dramatic" I can be at times, so this is no surprise that I might make a 'mountain out of a mole hill', but the fact that I still do it after all these years breaks my heart. Instead, though, starting today, I'm going to rejoice that this is one more area of sin in my life that GOD has opened my eyes to in such a way that I'm finally seeing what HE's had to look at for years - the problem is me, not John.
Sure, John blows it. Then again.......I blow it more than I care to admit, too. We are just not perfect. WHAT??? Shock! Surprise! Whatever..... No, we're not perfect, so why in the world have I clung to this idea that we should have a perfect marriage. In fact, what exactly does a perfect marriage even look like?? If someone knows, then please comment and enlighten me. Instead, as I wrote these words of praise about John, it dawned on me that I will probably never have a perfect marriage, but I can have a perfectly wonderful life with the man I love because of who he is deep down - absolutely perfectly wonderfully imperfect!! It's up to me to see what I have, appreciate it EACH moment of each day, and learn to keep growing TOWARD the perfect marriage.
Here's my comemnt, and please feel free to remind me of my words if you ever hear me say otherwise....
"Brag? I would rather call this "Moments we give Words of Affirmation" about the men in our lives. I am blessed to have a husband who is not perfect. He does little things that I've asked him over and over not to do (you know, toothpaste lid off kind of things...). He doesn't always read his Bible first thing in the morning. He sometimes comes in from taking care of calves ravenously hungry and dives right in to the meal WITHOUT blessing it first. He is an absolutely perfect example of imperfection, and I love him not in spite of his imperfections but because of them.
See, his imperfections are a beautiful reminder that I'm imperfect, too, although he will rarely mention any of my imperfections. Instead, he will sit at the table and smile when he's realized he didn't pray and tell our children, "Your mother is just such a great cook, I couldn't wait to eat what she made for us." AND he will definitely make sure that every child takes a bite of that said meal as an act of appreciation "for the work my wife did for us." Even in his imperfections, he will never allow our children to treat me in a disrespectful or unloving manner. He also tells our sons (12 & 17) to "study your mother and marry someone like her."
This imperfect man was not a Believer when we married, but as he has come to know, love and serve GOD, he has become the most perfect husband for me. A man who not only loves GOD but tries every day to make sure that his children learn to love HIM, too, because he knows that the only thing he can take to heaven with him, are the people he loves.
Finally, as I look at this husband God has given me, I appreciate that our children aren't seeing a marriage of perfect people, but a perfectly wonderful marriage created from two perfectly awful sinners who love GOD.
