The Big Let Down...

Here it is, the Thursday after the CAPE Convention.   And.....it's a big let down.   I came home so exhausted, but extremely energized and excited about the things I learned and the conversations I had.   I was ready to tackle that challenging relationship issue I've been having with Child L.   I had learned some great ideas to help Child P with their math.   I even heard about some wonderful date night ideas that were cheap and easy to enjoy with Hubby.   And......it's still a big let down.   Here's why:

After floating on cloud 9, I came home to......well, I came home to....Home!   The home I love, except for that unpainted wall and no pictures up.   The home I love....except for the bookshelves that really need to be cleaned and sorted.   The home I love.....except for the pile of papers that really need to be filed or shredded.   OK.   Skip the home.   

I came home to the family I love.....that still keeps forgetting to put their boots on the boot racks.   The family I love.......that still has to be told to take their clothes out of the dryer when the buzzer goes off.   The family I love....that just started fussing with each other even though I sat and listened to such wonderful families that had it all together every moment of every day and knew how to address each conflict in a peaceful and edifying way so that God was glorified every second and every moment of their lives!!!!   

AHHHHHH.   I came home to a home that wasn't perfect and a family that wasn't perfect!!

And it's the same home and family that I loved so desperately when I left to go to the convention.   

And honestly, it's the same family I STILL love and the home and ranch that I am blessed to be a part of.   The only thing that changed was that I allowed myself to compare.   What an ugly word that can be, and it's not what GOD desires for me.   Instead, HE says this in Galatians 6:4, 

"But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another."   

What a verse to keep in mind after the convention.   Yes, my life may not be perfect, but I am blessed to be on this imperfect journey with a bunch of FUN people - my husband, my family, my friends - AND I have a GOD who loves me unconditionally through every step of this journey of Motherhood.   

So, I'll take my imperfect family in my imperfect home and rejoice in the perfect joy that only comes from serving HIM.

"I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."    Galatians 2:20

Oh, the moments we'd love to forget..........

I saw this the other day and was shocked that someone snapped my picture......

I did this.....really.....

It was the first time Rebecca was going to be driving solo....with ALL of the children in the car with her....did I mention ALL of my prized possessions......did I mention it was her FIRST solo driving.....WITHOUT me there to keep her on track and safe.

So there we were.   Rebecca waiting patiently for this first independent step.   Me getting more nervous by the minute.   Waiting for John to meet us to pick me up for a date.   To calm myself, I decided to call a friend.

I was chatting with said friend when I realized that John might try to call to tell us where he was.   So, I started looking for my cell phone.   I looked in my purse.  I looked in the little cubby hole in the vehicle that I liked to use.   I looked on the floor thinking I might have dropped it after I used it.  

I could not find it.   I kept chatting and non-verbally demanding that Rebecca help me find me phone (only Mothers or children of Mothers or husbands of Mothers will understand what that looks like.)   I smiled as I chatted.   I scowled as I "spoke" to Rebecca to LOOK for the phone.....all the while she ignored me with a dumbfounded look on her face.  

What was wrong with that child?   And SHE expected me to let her drive my prized possessions home by herself?

I chatted and smiled some more....smoke started coming out of my ears as I searched frantically and DEMANDED (non-verbally) that Rebecca help me search......seriously....for five minutes this went on.   Then.....

.......I found my phone......    I continued to smile and chat with my friend.   I quickly ended the conversation, hung up, and looked sheepishly at my daughter....who was still looking at me dumbfoundedly before commenting.....

"And you are worried about ME driving by myself?"   

She's a good driver.   She will one day be a mother.   I will laugh when she does this, too......