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The life of a first born is difficult. We parents have NO idea what we are doing when we bring baby #1 home, but somehow, we figure it out.   Along comes baby #2, and we begin to see that maybe baby #1 had it easier than they thought.   See, we really don't have much to compare baby #1 to.   Sure, we can easily compare baby #1 to the children of other family members or friends, but we often don't do that continuously.   However, when baby #2 comes along, boy is it difficult to not start comparing.

Now, in defense of every Father and Mother out there, we don't mean to do this comparison business. Mainly, we start doing it because the only reference we have to babies is baby #1.  We start out by making those innocent little comments to ourselves or our sweethearts:

"Oh, look.   She sleeps in the same position as Little Susie."
"Wow!  He ate more than Junior did at this age."
"It took Bubba 6 months to sleep through the night, but little Baby did it in 3!!"

Nothing too drastic, but isn't that the way a lot of things start.....small, and then the snowball starts rolling?  Before we know it, it becomes a habit.   Pretty soon, baby #2 is constantly compared to the older sibling, and poor baby #3 or #4.....the comparison pool just increases.

What does GOD's Word tell us to do instead?   Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."  Years ago I read a wonderful book by Florence Littauer, and in it, she points out that possibly a better translation of that verse would be "Train up a child in their bent."   Train them up the way GOD created them - according to their individual personalities.   That doesn't mean we can't have the same rules for all of our children, but let's face it, if you have more than one child you know that they each respond differently to certain forms of discipline.  One child may be stronger willed than another.   One tends to be a people pleaser more than the other.   One just drives you NUTS!!  (probably because they are just like you are!!  GOD does have a sense of humor!)

Combine Proverbs 22:6 with Titus 2:4, and I think we start seeing a beautiful picture for how we should parent.   Titus 2:3-4, "Older women....so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children."  Interesting, the Greek word for loving your husband is "philandrous" while the Greek for loving your children is "philoteknous" - both have the Greek for love as "philos" and according to Strong's Greek origin the word means:

5384 phílos – a friend; someone dearly loved (prized) in a personal, intimate way; a trusted confidant, held dear in a close bond of personal affection.

WOW!!   What??  How are we to love our husband and children in the same manner?   Think of it this way.   When you fell in love with your Prince Charming what did you find yourself doing??   Didn't you study him and constantly try to dig deeper into knowing him so that you could figure out what made him tick?   What made him the way he is?   What did he like?   What did he NOT like?   What were his fears?   Dreams?  You wanted to know anything and everything that made him the man you fell in love with.  

What if we were to do that with our children?   What if we studied them?  What if we tried to find out what they liked and didn't like?  What their dreams and desires were?   What their fears were?  Who they were deep down inside?   What if we loved them dearly as a trusted confidant or in a personal and intimate way?   Would this cause us to parent differently?   If we looked at our children through the eyes of the One who created them, would we see them as something different than our child or an extension of who we were?   Would it cause us to strive to help them reach their goals and dreams rather than thinking they are to help us reach ours?

I asked myself those questions years ago, and it completely transformed how I saw my children.  I started to see them as limited editions, uniquely created with a purpose - not for me or to fulfill my plans - but with a purpose to fulfill the role that GOD had for them in HIS Kingdom.  

My children are still weird at times, and I must admit, they come by it naturally (or genetically).   That doesn't change the fact that they are still unique.   They are UNIQUELY weird, and each day that GOD gives me with them, I pray that I discover something new and wonderful about them.   A gift or trait that GOD can use to bless someone else.   A skill that I can encourage them to develop.   A talent that they can share with others if I give them the opportunity.   Mostly, though, I pray that I can see them more and more each day as  a friend; dearly loved in a personal, intimate way.

Happy Independence Day

"Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it."

   Edmund Burke

Do we know our history?   I fear that I know so little compared to what I desire to know.   I love reading history books, especially true history from the actual words of those who lived it.  Unfortunately, we tend to be spoon fed our history from revisionist publishers and writers so that the truth has become so skewed.  Then again......

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State."  (attributed to Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's Minister of Propaganda)

It's powerful, and it's humbling when we think back to what our Founding Fathers did over 200 years ago.   We owe our freedoms to men and women who risked EVERYTHING, including, and most especially, their lives.   This quote says it all:

Dr. Benjamin Rush, the father of American Medicine and a signer, recorded that day in his diary. In 1781, he wrote to John Adams “Do you recollect the pensive and awful silence which pervaded the House when we were called up, one after another, to the table of the President of Congress to subscribe to what was believed by many at that time to be our death warrants? The silence and gloom of the morning was interrupted, I well recollect, only for a moment by Colonel Harrison of Virginia (a big guy) who said to Mr. Gerry (small in stature) at the table: 'I shall have a great advantage over you, Mr. Gerry, when we are all hung for what we are now doing... From the size and weight of my body I shall die in a few minutes, but from the lightness of your body you will dance in the air an hour or two before you are dead.' This speech procured a transient smile, but it was soon succeeded by the solemnity with which the whole business was conducted.”

How many of us today would willingly sign a document like that, knowing what the cost would be, not only to ourselves, but to our entire family. These men and their families sacrificed much for us. It would seem to me that the least we could do is know just a little of what they did and why. 
 

Let us take some time this Independence Day to know what really occurred and why.   Possibly this article would be a good source of information.   Read some books by TRUE historians, or better yet, grab some books by Peter Marshall that are compilations of the written words of those men and women who lived and risked so much.  

Let's celebrate this year with a deeper understanding of the roots of our country, of the families who first came here and why.  Let's research to know what was intended when the original documents were written (ie., The Declaration of Independence, The American Constitution, The Bill of Rights, etc.)

Or, we can just continue down the path that has given us this.....We have a choice.