That's OK......or is it??

I was watching a young Momma with her little one (about 3 years). The child did something wrong, Mom corrected him, and when the child said "I'm sorry", Momma said, "That's OK." What?? Why was it not OK before, but now it's OK??

I do know that the Mom was trying to tell the child "All is forgiven, and we'll not bring it up anymore." My question is.....why don't we say, "All is forgiven, and we'll not bring it up anymore."???

When I was a young Momma, I did the same thing. When my little ones wronged someone (usually their other sibling), I tackled that situation with an iron fist. 1) Here's what you did wrong. 2) Now you need to apologize 3) Remind the offended individual know they are supposed to say "That's OK" 4) Pat myself on the back for another job well done in the parenting arena!! I know it was a sight to behold watching me in action....

Thankfully, GOD sent someone to straighten me out.

First, while it is good to point out what my little ones did wrong, my reason for doing so was to remind them they served a Holy GOD who had standards. If the incident was against HIS standard, I wanted them to know that, so I started "discipling" them (imagine that concept). If it was an incident that went against our family standards, then I wanted them to know that as well. I didn't want them to become adults thinking that something was sin because our family said so. I wanted them to know that sin was sin because GOD said so, but at the same time, I also wanted them to understand that some things we do because that's what we like - not because GOD said so. (You know, no burping at the table unless it's BBB night)

Second, I did not want them to apologize. Webster says this about apology:

"An excuse: something said or written in defense or extenuation of what
appears to others wrong, or unjustifiable;"

Ummm, maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't think there are too many cases where you can make an excuse for hitting your sister because she took your toy away. Seriously, though, I do know I'm splitting hairs here, but it did get me thinking about what I was doing. Was I really teaching them GOD's way or man's way when I told them to apologize for something they did wrong? Did I want them to learn to justify their bad choices, or did I want them to understand what THEY did wrong and how to make amends. For me, it was as simple as teaching them to ask for forgiveness.

The Psalmist teaches us in Psalm 79:9, "Help us, O GOD of our salvation, for the glory of Thy name; and deliver us, and forgive our sins, for Thy name's sake."

He doesn't apologize and try to justify to a Holy GOD why they did what they did. No, he asks for GOD's forgiveness. I realized that's what I needed to do and what I wanted my children to do as well.

Third, I had to ask myself why I wanted the offender to apologize for something when I've taught the offended to say, "That's OK." NO!! If it was OK to begin with, then why in the world did Momma just say to not do that?? OK. So, I'm a redneck at heart and a little slow....but I eventually catch on.....

If the offense was wrong by GOD's standard....and the offender needed to seek forgiveness.....then it only stands to reason that the offended needs to forgive. I get it!! I didn't want them to learn to just walk away from the situation, but I wanted them to know that when we wrong someone, they can actually still love us, forgive us, and desire to be in a relationship with us. I wanted them to learn that lesson with each other because that's what their faith would be built on. I knew that my dear children would offend GOD during their lives, but that HE will always be standing there with open arms waiting to forgive them, to love them, and to be in a relationship with them - no matter what. Jeremiah 9:17, "...But THOU art a GOD of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in loving-kindness; and THOU didst not forsake them."

Is it splitting hairs? I don't think so. I think there is a huge difference in apologizing and asking forgiveness. There are even times when you need to do both. "Honey, I'm sorry I was late. There was an accident on the freeway and traffic was stopped. Please forgive me for not being here when I said I would." Will that make a difference? You bet. How much nicer it is to have someone acknowledge that they've offended you. Then, how much nicer for the offender to hear, "I forgive you" instead of "That's OK" The offender knows it's not OK. So do you. If that's what we know as grownups, then why don't we start that lesson when they're little??

Take this to the next level.....how do we feel when we know we've offended GOD? Do we really feel better when we pour our heart out and 'apologize' to GOD and let HIM know WHY we did something - as if an omniscient GOD didn't already know. Or do we feel a relief and overwhelming outpouring of love when we repent and seek forgiveness knowing that GOD already promised to forgive us in 1 John 1:9. If that's how we feel, then let's help our children learn that feeling, too, because it's NOT OK......

Trashcans and the Holy Spirit

Now, you may be thinking this is going to be an interesting post, and I hope you find it so.  However, as the title suggests, this is about trashcans....and the Holy Spirit. :-)

Last night at church, we were studying Acts 4 (or part of).  We were all discussing how interesting it was that the apostles were filled with the Holy Spirit TWICE -so far.  First, after Jesus died, -Acts 2:1-4-when they were speaking in tongues, and then again after they had been arrested -Acts 4:31.

So, why twice?  Well, we discussed that it could have been because the needed refilling.  Or, as one of the women shared, that it is like a pitcher of water.  You empty it, and if you don't refill it, you will have a dry pitcher.

One of the things that really stuck in my mind was that the 12 PRAYED for confidence and boldness to proclaim the Word- Acts 4:24-31 (most notably, v.29) The reason it struck me is, how often do we actually pray for confidence and Wisdom?  Now, we might pray that we will say the right things to a certain person, but then when the time comes, I often find myself timid and more afraid of what they will think of me than what God will do THROUGH me.

So, I want to encourage all of you to pray that God will give you confidence and boldness to do the things that God wants you to do.  I am praying that all of you will be filled with the Holy Spirit and that the Holy Spirit will continue to pour into each and every one of you daily so that you have Him with you all the time.

I had a hard time imagining what it was meaning until my dear sister pointed something out.  If your parents/siblings/friends didn't tell you that they loved you, would you feel loved?  If they never ever told you that they loved you, you wouldn't feel like they loved you.  People need to be constantly telling each other that they love them (for most of us, this is the Philio (sp?) love, or brotherly love.).

So, go and speak the Word of God with boldness!!

To Christ be the Glory,
Sarah