"Too often a Mother bases her stable identity on the fragile decisions of her child" Lysa Terkeurst (aka Proverbs 31 Ministries).
I heard that phrase last night while listening to Lysa speak on the radio. WOW!! What a perfect - yet profound - statement. It's so true! How often do we Mothers - or Fathers for that matter - see our identity in who our children become? I would even go further and say that when you add homeschooling to your identity.....well, forget it. Those children had better be perfect!!
If our child isn't walking before every other infant their age, we place that burden on our shoulders. If our child speaks with a slight lisp after they turn 2, then we toss another burden on ourselves. If our 2nd grader isn't reading the classics yet, we wonder where we failed. Then the topper - if our child isn't graduated by 14 or 15 with a halo as large as a hula hoop, then we thrust such a heavy burden on ourselves and wonder where we went wrong.
How do we manage to do this to ourselves? Better yet, how do we manage to do this to our children? Wait....how do we manage to do this to God?
Aren't we created in His image? Genesis 1:27 says we are, and yet, we still insist upon creating our own image - and demand that our children give us the best image out there - and certainly better than Super Susie we met at the last Mom's meeting.
What about the image God wants to give us? Didn't He tell us in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans that I have for you.." Wouldn't those plans help create our image? Does He say that He will give us children to develop our own unique image based on how well we do as parents?
As I thought about it, do I really want that image I've expected of myself? My children are older now, and their choices dictate the direction of their lives more and more. The burden of continuing to build my image on their decisions is overwhelming because there are more and more decisions they make without me now!
My identity must come from God because I'm created in HIS image - not my dear sweet children's. God never fails me, but my children have and will just as I have and will fail them. The beauty, though, is that my identity can still be intact - if I base it on God's image. He still died for me whether or not my dear child graduates at 10 or 29. He still died for me whether or not my dear child actually shares that toy with the newcomer or hits him on the head with it instead. His mercy and grace covers all those fragile decisions.
I was standing in the living room of a dear friend one day when she asked me what I did to raise such well behaved children that loved The Lord. With God's perfect timing of humility, He allowed my youngest child to come blasting past this friend and I, flip right over the back of her couch - right in FRONT of us - and continue running on through her house. We stood there in silence. I turned to her and said, "I don't know, but when I figure it out, I'll share the secret."
That friend still loves me - not because she sees me based on the fragile decisions of my children but because she seems me as a sister created in the image of GOD!
Let's change that phrase to read "I choose to base my stable identity on the merciful decision of God who chose to create me in His image". Then, let's get that mirror out and see ourselves as He does!!
Love in Christ,
Prairie Momma
Meet Me in Montenegro (2015)
9 years ago
